whispering sweet nothings.

today while I was driving in the car on my way to go pick up some groceries I was thinking about the correlation between my relationship with God and my relationship with Josiah.  I mean I know it is so cliche but its so true!  I have been thinking alot lately about dealing with my health.  I just keep thinking is there something the Lord wants to teach me in all of this and is he waiting for me to learn it before the true healing begins.  If that is the case I have a long way to go.  I dont even know what he MIGHT be teaching me.  That is so frustrating.  I feel so ill-equipped to be put through such a task.  So back to the correlation what made me thin about it was when Josiah first learned how to stand in bed and yet he didn't know how to sit down and he would stand there and just cry there for as long as I would let him.  While looking in the monitor I would just think if he would just sit down. Its not that hard and he has the ability to do it but to him it was a huge thing and he didnt know where to begin trying to sit down.

To me that might be what the Lord is saying to me.  "Allie I just need you to learn this one thing" and I am standing in the crib crying out that I dont get it.

Being a mom is such a good reminder of the love the Lord has for me and how he cares for me even when it feels like he is in the next room listening to me crying.

One thing I have fallen in love with is putting Josiah to bed.  It is my special time with him when he is still and will actually lay his head on me (he is typically all over the place) We have a routine of reading a couple of books and then turning the light out and rocking in the dark while I sing hymns to him.  It is such a precious time to me.  I know there will be a time when he is too big to be held or he just doesnt want to be but until then I will love on my boy and sing sweet words to him in his ear.

sleep tight blog world.